My wife and I are (God-willing) getting close to the day when we will become parents for the first time. Tomorrow begins month 17 of our process of international adoption. 17 months gives you a lot of time to think. What follows is a list of many of the questions that frequently go through my mind as we prepare to begin this wild and crazy journey called parenthood. I hope you enjoy my musings and I am certainly open to answers if you have any!
1. Am I too old to give piggy-back rides all day?
2. Will I be a father who will help her to understand and trust in the Heavenly Father? Or will I hinder her?
3. Will I finish my life well and be someone she can look up to and respect? (Acts 20:24)
4. Can I stay disciplined in my life so I don’t disqualify myself from being the father she needs? (1 Cor. 9:27)
5. How much of her life will I get to see?
6. Will I be too overprotective?
7. Will I try to live vicariously through her–or let her live her life?
8. Will I be a parent who doesn’t think my child can do any wrong?
9. Will I find the right balance of discipline and love?
10. Will I discipline her too much? (Ephesians 6:4–“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”–This verse really sticks with me as I know my personality!)
11. Will I become a nervous wreck? (I think my Mom worried about us pretty much all the time.)
12. What do I have to do to be a good husband also?
13. Can I lose my selfishness?
13. Will I be able to answer my daughter’s questions?
14. Will I be able to raise a daughter who loves Jesus?
I think there isn’t anything unique about these questions. These are probably the same questions fathers have always asked.
What were some of the questions you had as you became a first time parent? I am so glad we don’t parent in a vacuum and that I will have others around me to help me!
More to come…
Jeremy
Awaken Ministries 
We wanted children with grounded “wings.” We camped all over the U.S. and saw the beauty of creation everywhere. That said, giving your children wings can mean they move away as adults which can be good and bad. Print your list of questions and keep them a place where they will you accountable during those years with children in the house. God is always good, He will hear your prayers that you be the parent your child needs.
Great idea, I will do that! Thanks!
When I married Gwen, she had Brad, who was 4 years old, the product of an earlier marriage. I promptly adopted Brad. We subsequently had 3 more children. I never thought of Brad as being anything other than my child. As the years passed by, I forgot that he was adopted and it only comes back at times like this when I am prompted. My advice: strike “adopted” from your vocabulary. This will be your little girl. Of course, it will be obvious that she is Chinese. But that does not compel you to add adjectives denoting her status in your family.
I am not worried about your parenting skills. Of course, YOU will worry — it’s in the job description — look it up.
I like that advice. Words do matter, and I can see how “adopted” could carry a certain notation.
I already worry, and I don’t even have her yet!